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Are You Making The Right Ask In Your Emails?

nova-scotia-retriever-begging

Recently I put out a request for people that were struggling with their email campaigns: either the entire campaign or if they were finding that they were challenged with even getting their emails opened, if they were tracking them through some sort of email system.

That led me to an interesting example from a college development department that provides a pretty useful example for us to look at today.

First off, let’s talk about the situation because I think it opens up a door that any of us that are involved in sports & entertainment have as an advantage, but we don’t tackle with as much fever as we should.

But it doesn’t eliminate the ability for people in B2B or other areas to take advantage of.

That situation is affinity and loyalty to your brand.

I went to the University of Alabama and SUNY Empire State College, when I get emails from them, I typically open them.

To a lesser extent, I am a big Mets’ fan and I will open a lot of emails from the Mets as well.

What does that mean for us, it means that we need to spend a little bit of time making sure that we tap into that connection as much as possible.

Next, let’s talk about how you make sure that these connections never become cold.

In too many cases, I feel like a lot of colleges guide you for four, five, six years…maybe longer, and then you get your first job and you kind of get lost in the shuffle for a few years.

I’m going to rely on my University of Alabama experience for a few, but in the 10 years since they hired Nick Saban, the university has been much better about staying in touch and connecting me with the community in Alabama and around the country than it was in the 10 years before!

Is that the case with your school or your team or organization?

Do you only reach out when you need something?

Let’s set this up at the outset of this set of discussions, if you already have a connection with people, don’t let the connection go cold. And, if it goes cold, let’s think through the rhythm of communications that we want to establish so that we can always keep these people in the loop.

Finally, are you clear about what you are asking for or what you want to gain from each touch point?

One challenge many of us can encounter is we don’t get the reaction we want from an action because we aren’t clear about what we asked for or what action we want the person on the other end of the email, call, or ask to do.

You have to make sure that you spend some time understanding what you want someone to do and asking for that action in a manner that increases the likelihood that someone is going to take the action that you want them to take.

Does all of this make sense so far?

Take advantage of your brand loyalty as much as possible!
Don’t let warm or hot connections get cold, but if it does happen…think about a rhythm and pattern to how you want to turn that connection around and take action on it.
Make sure you are clear about what action you want your recipient to take and make sure that you have asked in a way that increases the likelihood of action being taken.
Now, let’s take a look at the specific example and let’s try to help out our reader.

Today’s topic is about how to make a reconnection request with a college development department.

This example is both informative and tricky because most of the emails that are being sent are being sent after some form of contact. Which opens up another different level of data to parse for feedback, but we won’t touch that aspect of that today.

Let’s get started by focusing on what are some of the outcomes that this campaign and this series of calls, emails, and messages is hoping to achieve.

Reestablish connection with the university
Get feedback and testimonials from the alumni that they can use to talk with other prospective students and alumni
Start building a long term relationship that will grow into development dollars for the school.
Clear so far?

Let’s take a look at the subject lines and email body that have been being used so far:

Subject Lines:

Connect & Thank You: ______ University

Thank you for your support

Hello & Follow Up

Follow Up: ______ CAES

Email Body:

Hi Vincent,

My name is ______. I’m part of the College of Engineering and Applied Science at ______ University, your Alma mater. I’ve just called and left a message.

I’m responsible for strengthening the bonds between College of Engineering and Applied Sciences alumni and the University. A significant part of my work involves connecting with alumni who support students through scholarships, internships, as well as employment opportunities and research collaborations with their companies.

I know you are busy and I will be respectful of your time. If you have an interest in connecting to discuss our Alma mater, I would be more than happy to meet you at your office, or for coffee at another location convenient for you.

Thank you,

______

Let’s take a look at this before we rework it.

First, as always let’s look at the subject line because that is the first impression you have to make and can be the difference between open and don’t open.

What do you notice about these subject lines?

To me, they are perfectly pleasant, anodyne subject lines. They aren’t going to offend anyone and they aren’t going to go into the dustbin of bad subject lines, but the flip side of that is that they also don’t really stand out in any meaningful way for the person on the receiving end of your email.

In the case of the context these are being sent, either after a short call or a voicemail, you are going to need to be like a spur under someone’s saddle that they have to pay attention to or you are likely just going to get ignored.

Now, let’s move into the body of the email because if you improve your subject line to get someone into the body, you need to be able to get the person on the other end to take action once you have them there.

So what do we notice about this email?

To begin with, the first sentence is really “me” focused, not “you” focused.

That’s a big no-no because no one really cares about you, especially if they don’t know you.

The second sentence continues that trend with too much focus on what the sender wants and little focus on why exactly the person on the receiving end would care one way or the other.

The final sentence is the call to action and it isn’t really clear what the specific ask is. It really just sort of comes off really apologetic and wishy washy for anyone to take any action on it.

Though I do doubt that too many people actually made it that far to get to the CTA.

NOTE: After thinking on this email for a few days, I followed up with the sender to find out what the results have been so far. The feedback was that they haven’t really had much success so far with this campaign.

Now, let’s put the email back together in a way that fits into the campaign and can help this development department get some traction.

SUBJECT:

What Is Your Favorite ____ Memory?

Body:

Hi ____:

This time of year, do you find yourself getting nostalgic for life on campus?

Was it a favorite teacher?

Class?

Or, a special place?

If you have a favorite story that you would love to share, how about sharing that story with us?

We’d love to hear your story and connect your story to the thousands of others from alumni and students around the world! Do you have 10 minutes for a quick call? I’d love to hear YOUR story!

Dave

Let’s look at this reworked email and see if we have been able to improve it:

First, the subject line leads with a question.

I’ve found in my work that questions are powerful tools to get people to open their emails.

And, if you combine a question with asking something specific about their school experience, I think that the likelihood of success jumps immediately. Because as long as they had a good experience at your school, this question will likely create a positive association in their mind.

In the case that they hated your college, no question is likely to change that. So its good to know that they hate you, so you can move on.

Now let’s look at the body.

Let’s begin by looking at the “me” versus “you” content of the email.

As we discussed, the original email was very much “me” focused.

Who I am.

What I do.

Why I think it matters.

But let’s look at the reworked email and see how we have switched this up.

I’ve broken this up into a series of questions, all built off of the introduction in the subject line.

Until I get to the CTA, I never mention “I” or “me.”

Why?

I’m not all that important in this regard.

What about that CTA?

This was the part of the email that I think is going be the most trial and error infused because you have a couple of different objectives, but I think the most important one is to get people to take the next step with you.

If they haven’t thought about you and the school in a while, you need them to reengage with you.

That’s the next step.

That’s why the idea of putting the receiver in the position of thinking about some cherished memory is really super powerful because it helps facilitate that next step.

What’s the logical next step?

Probably not sitting down for coffee.

Likely not signing up to start donating money monthly.

Likely not a lot of things.

But you know what you can do, you can get someone to share their story with you and have a conversation about something you both care about, the college or school.

So ask for that.

Trust me, if someone cares and engages with you, the next steps are going to take place. But you can’t jump from zero to a million dollar donation in an email and a voice mail.

So remember that you just want each contact to lead to the next logical step.

On the whole, I think that the intent behind the email is in the right place. And, knowing that the email is part of a sequence of contacts to reengage alumni gives us a jumping off point.

But you have to make your next step obvious!

Or, you will get what you ask for.